Chaos Within

Summary of what i remember on the concert...

2008-02-26T03:31:00.019+08:00

1.《黃金甲》: Entered with a big bang! bomb! screamed lungs out like mad; yet people around us arent still not that in mood yet! but already prepared before hand that this is going to be the song, so yeah, "man chen ju hua shui de tian xia!"

the best thing about this is the fireworks effect, BOMB! comparable to those seen on countdowns, and it is hard to describe hence.. keep it for the next one...

2.《無雙》: after finishing his greeting with all of us, this song is another song that comes over with it. nothing memorable, screaming increase around us...

3.《最後的戰役》: this is a surprise! remember how we sang so mesmorisingly... "wo liu zhe pei ni.. qiang liu zhe lei di.. you xie shi zhen de lai bu ji.. hui bu qi.." am not really a fan of costume. just remember he walked towards the left.

4.《不能說的秘密》: prior to this song he asked us "who havent watch this flim yet? go buy ticket now". after that he appear with his piano, playing 2 pieces from Secret. and after that, "ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zhou de geng yuan..."

5.《退後》: known before hand hence nothing special with this... people around us getting really high now...

6.《麥芽糖》: i think it is this 1 that comes with the scottish dance, bout 3 minutes scottish dance. doesnt really love this song so it is just dance for me..

7.《牛仔很忙》: right after "wo hai xiang yao duo yi kou.." the familiar theme started! yeah.. as reported in the press: 《牛仔很忙》的嘻哈牛仔舞! they stand in the middle and started dance like cowboy although sadly.. jay nv wear his cowboy suit...

8.《聽媽媽的話》: "this song.. is a very important song that i dedicated to my mom... it is for all parents here too and its important for u!" the part that people scream like mad is when chow yun fatt and jacky cheong actually got "singing part" inside it! LOL.. and then... after jay left we were to sing the chorus for bout 5 times! THIS IS REALLY A LOW PART of the concert. due to repeativiveness, next few songs fans are getting tired of it. felt that it is like a filler..

we lost our flow and hence the next song isnt that much of a bang..

9.《黑色幽默》: lame... bunch of lyric mistake... though he did play piano again on stage..

10.《最長的電影》: hmmm.. dont remember much bout it..

11.《安靜》: BUNCH OF BUNCH OF MISTAKES DUDE!!

12.《千里之外》: yeah although there's chinese dance and quite alot of dancers surrounding him.. it pales as there is no special guest for this song.. and he sang it on a lower tune... i dont even really enjoy this song sial...

13.《青花瓷》: yeah... nicely sang, the girl next to me..

14.《本草綱目Remix》: 中跳僵屍舞及大展扯鈴身手.. yes although got che ling and he throw it really damn high.. but he cant catch it in the end and it's another low point...

15.《夜的第七章》: Lara as the special guest singing on a higher stage with bunch of weird dances with "bunny girls"!

16.《夜曲》: A huge pink high heel comes up to the stage and jay is seressed by 2 girls that teck kai mentioned: "as tall as him"... he just keep laying up n down on the heel and girls seressing her... lol...

17.《迷迭香》: more and more and more bunny girls sial! 與性感的女舞蹈員火辣熱舞! its true but doesnt really love those bunny girls and not a big fan of dance so yeah.. just bunny girl dance!
especially this song is a bit perverted hence the need of bout 10 bunny girls around. suits the lyrics!

18.不插電《忍者》+《你怎麼說》+《雙截棍》: this is when the people from nan quan mama and jay sat in the stage having some chit chat when yu hao show his beat show but jay beats him! =p and "a.. kuai shi yong.. shuang qun gun.. hee haa.." is really a bit annoying though! at first i was so disappointed as i thought shuang quan kun is the grand finale!

19.《彩虹》: every1 stand up and a clubbing feel comes when every1 shake their "munchy's" and "ying guang bang"... the group in front of me gave me a weird look as i was singing all along most of the songs except for this 1! swt.....

20.《開不了口》: Teck Kai: "XHUI!" and yeah... the ying guang bang moves left and right.. zhong shi kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao...

21.《陽光宅男》: not really a big fan of this song so yeah... not much memory about it..

*encores*

JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN *COUGH COUGH*

ZHOU JIE LUN ZHOU JIE LUN ZHOU JIE LUN ZHOU JIE LUN ZHOU JIE LUN ZHOU JIE LUN *COUGH*

encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores encores *COUGH*

and then... lights on again...

安哥1：《周大俠》: KONG FU! KONG FU! again doesnt really no this song so just follow them scream...

now even the drummer lao shi comes out! "tump tump tump!" "zhou jie lun!" "tump tump tump!" "zhou jie lun!" "tumtumtum!" "zhoujielun!" "tump tump tump!!" "zhou jie lun!"

and then...

安哥2：《菊花台》／《霍元甲》+《雙截棍》

After the entire thing ended.... this is how we look like:

some of the better pictures from http://ent.sinchew-i.com/node/4951:
He solo drum during 1st anchor after drum lao shi goes down. 30 seconds.
His Ju Hua Tai gu zheng solo.
The che ling that fell down after a high throw. I defenitely remember there's one song with abunch of clowns and this scene stucked on my brain just that i cant remember which song it is...
So this is how it looks like from the front row... compared with what i can see from Row J Group C... "Niu Zai Hen Mang"
An Jing
Bunny girls that are as tall as Jay is in Ye Qu!
Left to right: Yu Hao, tan tou, zhang jie, jay chou, 2 kelefeh.. during the unplug version where jay also sang deng li jun's song, claiming it is unpracticed.
This is where nan quan mama comes out and sang 3 songs, including zhuang ke ai. i remember Lara's malaysian favourite food is ice cream with bread while tan tou is satay.
Bunny girl during Mi Li Xiang..
This is how he looks like when he enter the stage with Huang Jin Jia.

2008-02-26T03:29:00.000+08:00

（吉隆坡）第3次來馬開演唱會的周傑倫，稍為更動已在海外展開巡迴演唱會的曲目。除了首度公開演唱主演的賀歲電影《功夫灌籃》主題曲《周大俠》，還演唱沒有經過事先彩排的鄧麗君歌曲《你怎麼說》，不斷帶給歌迷驚喜。

周傑倫擔心年長的觀眾聽不懂他的歌，演唱鄧麗君代表作《你怎麼說》討他們的歡心，他自嘲這首是他唯一咬詞最清楚的歌曲，接著他強調要演唱口齒不清的《雙截棍》，許多歌迷馬上拍掌叫好，看來歌迷早已接受“周式含糊不清的吐詞唱腔”。

此外，周傑倫與南拳媽媽的宇豪、彈頭、張傑及兩名樂手在不插電環節中，將《忍者》及《雙截棍》原本的編曲改頭換面，讓歌迷第一次見識到周傑倫創意無限的創作才能。

周傑倫演唱的歌曲以近年推出的3張專輯《十一月的蕭邦》、《依然范特西》及《我很忙》為主，雖然沒有演唱膾炙人口的《星晴》、《龍捲風》、《爸我回來了》等等，但歌迷對新歌依然表現得很受落，隨著他的舞台魅力及互動多次掀起高潮。

驚喜5連環：

長得不帥的周傑倫，用他的音樂、舞台上隨興奔放牽動歌迷的情緒，享受這場驚喜不斷及高潮迭起的演唱會。

驚喜1：精彩煙花
除了視覺效果，配合氣勢磅礡的開場曲《黃金甲》及謝幕曲《雙截棍》特別製造煙花效果，讓歌迷在強勁的節奏中，盡情釋放熱情。

驚喜2：技驚四座
周傑倫彈吉他及鋼琴演奏己不是新鮮的事，這次他分別為《周大俠》及《髮如雪》打鼓及露一手古箏琴藝，驚豔全場。

驚喜3：舞藝進步
周傑倫的舞藝愈來愈進步，與性感的女舞蹈員火辣熱舞《迷迭香》、在《本草綱目》中跳僵屍舞及大展扯鈴身手，《牛仔很忙》的嘻哈牛仔舞，都讓歌迷看得過癮。

驚喜4：電影畫面
《不能說的‧秘密》是周傑倫首次自編自導自演的電影，他現場秀一段《Secret》鋼琴演奏之後，還與在片中飾演學長的宇豪重演鬥琴一幕，不但深深吸引歌迷，還勾起對該電影的回憶。

驚喜5：“熒幕嘉賓”周潤發、張學友
周傑倫在《聽媽媽的話》一曲中將周潤發及張學友的名字寫進歌詞。當他唱出兩人的名字時，熒幕上立刻播出周潤發隨著音樂節奏揮手及作出嘻哈的動作畫面，張學友接著演唱“聽媽媽的話，別讓他受傷，想快快長大，才能保護他……”，引發歌迷的大聲尖叫。

>拉闊現場：

限拍3首歌曲
雖然周傑倫的演唱會讓歌迷High足全場，但台灣製作單位在開唱前一小時通知攝影記者，只限拍攝開場的3首歌曲，接著便請離開台前。儘管如此，周傑倫的舞台魅力，還是讓坐在觀眾席的攝記忍不住按快門，拍下遠距離的周傑倫與讀者一起分享。

曲目：
1.《黃金甲》
2.《無雙》
3.《最後的戰役》
4.《不能說的秘密》
5.《退後》
6.《麥芽糖》
7.《牛仔很忙》
8.《聽媽媽的話》
9.《黑色幽默》
10.《最長的電影》
11.《安靜》
12.《千里之外》
13.《青花瓷》
14.《本草綱目Remix》
15.《夜的第七章》
16.《夜曲》
17.《迷迭香》
18.不插電《忍者》+《你怎麼說》+《雙截棍》
19.《彩虹》
20.《開不了口》
21.《陽光宅男》

安哥1：《周大俠》
安哥2：《髮如雪》／《霍元甲》+《雙截棍》

Jay KL Concert 2008! This really rox!

2008-02-24T01:02:00.004+08:00

this is from my cam.. i'll upload more from my beloved my-jay-sians if they upload their version in youtube!

p.s. switch your speaker to minimum sound if you dont want your ear to break from my "rasuk hantu scream!"

honestly you dont feel malu at all then, really. every1 is screamin!

here are the teasers:

7 more minutes

2007-12-31T23:52:00.000+08:00

364 days 23 hours and 53minutes has past.

7 minutes remaaning.

happy new year, goodbye old year

so after all these years

2007-11-25T03:04:00.000+08:00

To be weak is miserable,
Doing or suffering.

lines 157-158

- Paradise Lost

Fate

2007-11-24T03:11:00.000+08:00

Hypothetically, if the only choice you've got is to do the wrong thing, then it's not really the wrong thing, It's more like fate.
- Vlad (Max Payne, 2004).

It's better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven.
- Paradise Lost (Milton, 1667)

Destiny, an inevitable course of events
- Wikipedia

everything which is governed by fate happens by necessity
- Lipsius, J. (1574)

To my memories of my lost 15 friends, either by ditch, by leave, or death, my blessing goes with you all. fate decided our friendship.

im back

2007-11-24T02:58:00.000+08:00

i got a lot of things to update here, but according to a close friend, no 1 is interested in your daily life. no point crapping about your normal daily life, people find that boring...

many thoughts came in and out of my brain recently. after the hectic exam, i been meeting up old and current friends; been more lifely in msn; trying to organize things to make my mind more occupied. hence the hectic holiday season instead of sleep.

but sadly the thoughts still fly through. after 8 days of programs, i ran out of idea. i decided to chill at home and have a nice sleep. i did it. 15 hours of sleep.

the thoughts still linger.

my ghost is occupying me now. to quote from max payne: "I knew the appetites of ghosts intimately. They hungered for revenge." i hungered for revenge. i wanted to kill him. i wanted him to die. its been 6 years and the thought still haunts me. sins never wash away cleanly, they are worse day by day.

i know friends that keep calling me to laugh and smile during photo sessions. showing of my colgate teeth. but, max once said, and i agree.. "I would have laughed, if I could have remembered how."

the suffer of a sinner. the pain i have to bear alone. for the rest of my life. i always hope that God will take me out of this world asap, and i wanted to be a good testimony for him. and when i leave, i will leave peacefully.

but time is not decided by me.

Mine wasn't the most original approach to the problem: An eye for an eye, the oldest principle of revenge. Old as dirt, but still going strong.

but i was forbid to do that. the Bible forbid me to do that. so revenge is way out. what's next?

I didn't deserve to walk away. There are no happy endings.

Everything had started out as black and white. Somewhere down the road, the line went blurry, the colors started to run, got smudged and gray.

There was a blindspot in my head, a bullet-shaped hole where the answers should be. Call it denial. I wanted to dig inside my skull and scrape out the pain.

If you think nothing can get to you, you're lying to yourself. At best you're temporarily dead. A lightning bolt could re-animate you without a warning.

if you ask me now, to revenge or to suicide, i choose the latter.

again, i was forbidden to do that.

There are no choices. Nothing but a straight line. The illusion comes afterwards, when you ask "Why me?" and "What if?". When you look back and see the branches, like a pruned bonsai tree, or forked lightning. If you had done something differently, it wouldn't be you, it would be someone else looking back, asking a different set of questions.

that's all for my update.

its always you

2007-10-18T17:32:00.001+08:00

in all assignments you are way better than me.

you scorn me in society.

you kicked my ass in our usual online chat.

even now, after checking our assignment marks in student drive,

you still did better than me.

ironically

you are the 1 that fail

more than me.

sad

but true.

so i wish you luck in your finals.

part 2

2007-10-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

After 5 years, we finally met up and of course, our first outing together. The trip was fun. The outing was ok. The feeling was a relaxed one. However, according to Max Payne, “Your past has a way of sneaking up on you. You'll hear broken echoes of it everywhere, like a bad replay. You'll get mad at everyone for reminding you about it, even if it's all in your head”. I gotta stop meeting her up like that. Although she might not know how I feel that day, but I'm going to disclose it here.

After that night, I finally come to appreciate few of the enigmas narrated by Payne. Among them:

“The past is a puzzle, like a broken mirror. As you peice it together, your image keeps shifting. And you change with it. It could destroy you, drive you mad. It could set you free.”

“The past is a gaping hole. You try to run from it, but the more you run, the deeper it grows behind you, its edges yawning at your heels. Your only chance is to turn around and face it. But it's like looking down into the grave of your love, or kissing the mouth of a gun, a bullet trembling in its dark nest, ready to blow your head off.”

It was an insane feeling. Every piece of broken memories hit me that day. It almost killed me. I wasn’t running away from reality; far from it. Rather, I felt that I came across a crossroad: to bury my memories in peace and get on with life or to cast myself into the sea of memories, secretly indulge in my own world rather than facing the “real” one.

The truth is, seeing you really made me feel glad, while remembering the memories made me feel bad. Our friendship, like everything in life, “had started out as black and white. Somewhere down the road, the line went blurry, the colors started to run, got smudged and gray”. Tell me, dear friend, have you buried your memories of us long ago altogether, or are you suffering just as much as me by seeing me?

The question is “as old as mankind”, but tell me, “what is this feeling I’m having now?”

To be continued.

Reference:

May Payne, Max Payne 2, Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

10 days

2007-09-27T13:40:00.001+08:00

Never know 10 days can be that long. It really was.

I didn't have time to visit here with some reasons of course. Mainly, it was down to the usual assignment-hell (think result is out), peer pressure, and the pure sien-ness. The last day before mid-sem break was better. The feeling of being surrounded by friends is kindda nice and heartwarming.

The sights of seeing everyone, although all rushing their own assignments but still smiling at each other, gave me a sense of Utopia. The last time this peace-rush attack was in a particular November 2005’s night. It was a different story back then.

Back to last week. As mentioned, the good feeling last only awhile. I couldn’t really remember what happened last week. It seems to me like it’s been a year. Yet, the nice feeling of being with them is still as fresh as, an apple?

Forget about the Sunday incident. However, I really have great fun that day till night. Great fun.

Monday, 3 days ago. The original plan was to meet up with an old friend who wanted me to meet up with the old clubbing gang. And as expected, the plan called off. Devastated (I really wanted to meet them but…), I called up Grace, a friend I last met 4 years back (Grace, minus this year’s McD ok?).

And it was the same train again. The same station brought back memories. It continued to haunt me again. Taman Bahagia, uncountable memories.

With the Ipoh dudes, with the ex, with Kenny and gang after Mun’s competition, with Mel, with Issac, and etc. One by one, they haunted me when I was waiting for the LRT to arrive. I thought

I saw all of them in the platform, but then again, I was wrong. Can anyone tell me, “Can we relive back our memories?” I doubt.

However, after all the trouble (From TB -> MJ, and transfer to STAR LRT, MJ -> Bukit Jalil, I reached my destination.

The sight of IMU brought back even more memories.

But well, still I met up with her, after 4 years.

To be continue…

test

2007-09-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

test test

acting

2007-09-17T23:23:00.000+08:00

the more you want to emulate someone, the higher the chances of you being totally different from that person is high.

although it is not a secret that i'm modelling myself to become vincent valentine of final fantasy vii, but i found out that im just the totally opposite of vincent, im more towards yuffie!!

does anyone agree with this finding? (credits to Quizilla). Let me know about it.

What Final Fantasy VII character are you?

You are VINCENT. Remember to clean the cobwebs off your coffin once in a while- first impressions are lasting!

I'm not emo, i'm just angsty

2007-09-17T00:57:00.000+08:00

One of the birthday wish i made that day at hostel room D1 301 is

After 10-ish, stop being emo. Instead, being angsty is perfectly fine.

To all my friends out there that feel that I'm an emo guy or King Emo or any, well people. I'm not (or maybe no longer). I think having a new look and being a bit quieter don't makes me think more and can be more introspective rather than, obviously for me, wasting time being emo.

Maybe I wasn't emo at all since beginning, I'm just angsty. Thanks Pinku for the word.

The angsty beginning!

The birth of Malaysia

2007-09-16T00:24:00.001+08:00

Well, look's who birthday it is today:

Malaysia (16th September 1963)
Lee Kwan Yew (16th September 1923)
David Copperfield (16th September 1956)

And for your information, Malaysia Day is NOT Merdeka Day... read your history text book form 3 please... LOL

1963 - Malaysia is formed from Malaya, Singapore, British North Borneo (Sabah) and Sarawak. (source: Text book)

My last "one-ish" day

2007-09-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

According to Stef, today will be my last “one-ish” day. Meaning? 最后一天以”一”字开头的年龄. For today I’m (19) and 1 hour later I shall be “two-ish” (20) already. Is that a good feeling? I got no idea at all, seriously.

But all is alright… recapping how I actually spend my last “one-ish” day.

It is a usual Friday mamak outing yesterday night, and I no need to explain why I ended up watching Youtube till 3am (waiting for the caffine effect to wear out ma…). But, my sleep is disturbed the entire night by my own iTunes. My Jay Chou’s song, 东风破, was repeating itself throughout the entire night! Argh geram!! But still, I was too lazy to switch it off, so yeah, I pratically didn’t sleep well.

After getting some pocket money from mom, I headed towards Low Yat Plaza again! LOL… I just went there last week with Jac! But chill. I went there with a reason. Today is supposed to be my birthday eve before turning 20, so I decided to invite someone I lost contact with long ago to part with this special day with me, symbolically saying that we wanted to put our past behind and step into 20 years old confidently. It is Stef, a girl that I last saw at Low Yat Plaza last week (lol… by coincidence). Before that, the last time was all the way 2 years back, in our trip to Melaka… time flies like nobody’s business…

Anyway, after met up with Stef at Low Yat, we headed straight for Pod Station, the authorize Apple seller. Of course, my only intention of going there is to get my supposedly dream present for myself:

[Griffin brand iPod FM transmitter]

Or

[iLuv brand iPod FM transmitter].

After futile bargining with them, I finally gave in with the final price RM 200, and everyone was happy with it. Until…

“Boss, try it, maybe cant function”.

“ok no problem”.

The next fifeteen minutes, the only thing me and Stef saw was these monkeys in the stores running up and down and trying their best to prove to be the transmitter work. Guess what? The radio was right in front of their iPod and the antenna pointing straight at their transmitter. And guess what’s the result? Their choice of song, Akon’s Lonely.

“Lo… sheehehehe.. I’m M… hshshshsehsh.. I have nobo diedehkalmaio…”

And

“Steven, that radio spoiled one lar!”

After that, with another radio,

“Lonely.. I’m Mr Lo shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhh I’m lonely”

“hehehehe… actually can function well one, can one. I tried it on my Kancil and Myvi and it is functionable… no worry no worry…”

Our response:

“Hey Stef let’s go Midvalley” “Ok!” “Bye podstation”

Steven's brain:

"My commisions........ you bloody @)#(@)!!"

Hehehe… thank God for that! My RM 200!!

---------------- [Midvalley] ------------------

Of course, the next idea was to go to other iPod accessory shop to buy, right?

This time, it is the Apple shop next to the PC world.

“Boss, iPod FM transmitter please” “can try?”

Well, disappointed but unsurprisingly, the quality of this one is as sucky as the previous one we saw… BUT at least this shop treated us nicely by telling us that it is not really worth it to buy a transmitter nowadays. When it comes to a traffic jam, you will get to hear any type of music on the cars around you. Apparently, FM transmitter is so popular in the market the chances of all Frequencies are taken is very high!

So, yeah. My birthday present? Cancelled. T.T

Me and Stefs hang out like the good ol days after that, and yeah… we talked about so many stuffs and we laughed about it all the way… and of course, we take our first photograph in 2 years time…

Tada… my eyes were closing. Remember that I didn’t really sleep well the night before??

Well, after returning home and nap, the last thing I did for my “ten-ish” life is… sadly…

HRM assignment….

:P
Ian out!

2am in the morning

2007-09-15T02:00:00.000+08:00

September 14 is a very meaningful and eventful day for quite a number of my acquaintances. It is either their birthday or their farewell dinner. Most of them spent their special days in tears of joy (congrats JC, chunh) while some are less fortunate though. Well, GTHL, I can’t understand how u feel totally but you have my sympathy.

Anyway, that hectic day ended 2 hours ago and reflecting back, while everyone was busy partying/dinner-ing, I’m on the other hand were rushing my assignment (which, technically, can possible be done by early this week) and currently panicking about the next one, which due on the same day.

Again, when it comes to midnight and seeing everyone sleeping soundly around me (cousin CJ is now), I take time off pondering about some stuffs that disturbed my brain currently.

I found out that my life now is surrounded by assignments, assignments and assignments. It is so boring and so frustrating. When you do the “Word-count” tool in Microsoft Word and found out that you met the word limit, you simply can’t just feel relief at all. This is because, another assignment is waiting for you and when you do the world-count; it states there, “0”. I don’t really understand the point of writing 2k to 4k words assignments when the only thing I can write is craps.

I always tell myself that I need to write that assignment, so that I can meet the assignment hurdle (Monash hurdle: you need to pass assignments [usually it means 15/30] to pass the course), and to graduate soon, and start working (eventhough everyone says that study life is still the best time in your life, they always tell me to “wait till you meet the world”).

editor's note: only God, family and my beloved friends are the only important part of my life now. Nothing else matters..

SO, I wanted to conclude my blog post for today by quoting from, for me the most emo book in the bible, book of

Ecclesiastes chapter 1.

Ecclesiastes 1 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)

Ecclesiastes 1
1The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.

2Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

3What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?

4One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.

5The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.

6The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits.

7All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.

8All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.

9The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

10Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.

11There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.

12I the Preacher was king over Israel in Jerusalem.

13And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith.

14I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.

15That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered.

16I communed with mine own heart, saying, Lo, I am come to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in Jerusalem: yea, my heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.

17And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.

18For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

Birthdays

2007-09-14T09:19:00.000+08:00

dedicate to 2 friends, today is your big day. ya both 19 each. enjoy.

Grace Tay
Su Fen

and to another friend, bro you are now 20!

Qirui

Bolt from the blue

2007-09-13T16:00:00.000+08:00

Drifting in happiness, I am currently.

Life comes with ups and downs, and it really hurts recently on everything happened. The house is in pure gloomy state now and everyone in the house, one by one, has fallen into a mental sickness. No less help by my accident which causes so many unwanted havocs, on and off the house. Although having a car accident is considered as either “sooner or later”, it couldn’t come at the worse timing. The entire house is a bit messy now and it only makes sense not to interfere more. The only thing that is making any sense to me now is to stay at home quietly and complete my assignment a.s.a.p.

That is the big part of sadness that supposedly glooming around my side of the story. Jane Rubietta, author, speaker and co-writer of Fabulous after 50, wrote in her book that “Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.” I firmly believe that the anger and grief I currently suffer now is natural and appropriate. Thanks Jane.

Healing is mandatory. I won’t want to be in anger and grief 24/7, but I can’t seem to find a way to heal myself and “them”. Recently I have been in a state of shock and emotionless due to the accident and “those” issues.

But then, finally, healing process starts today. It is godsend to me. I would never know such small incident will touch me as much as the accident scares me.

Allow me to tell you how.

The recipe is simple:

A cupcake with 3 alphabet “i-a-n” in the table of Hostel D1 room 301, with the most important ingredient of the recipe is the friends that surround the cake... The cupcakes are nicely lit and they were all brightly lit in a dark room, with beloved friends started to sing the four words you get to hear only once in a year. “Happy Birthday to You”. The day belonged to you, and the candles symbolize your coming of age. Although it is still 3 days earlier, but the healing part begins. The entire feeling is so symbolic it touches my heart like never before. Who would even dream of having surprise cupcakes just for you, in time where the house is nothing but dimness?

The cupcakes and the friends are my best presents (the Vincent action figure is an icing on a perfect cake). In the darkest hour, they unwittingly lit up my week, symbolically.

It is simple to heal yourself. Be yourself and let your surrounding light you up. Surprises pop-up and that what makes life more fun and in the same time miserable, right? :)

Restoration is the last process, and yes, people. It is possible. I’ll try my best with God’s help.

Utmost thanks, love and appreciation goes to beloved friends that have A&W with me just now. Will update all your faces later:

1. Jaclyn the head of WTO and the queen of all of us. A super lovely and loving girl, I must say.
2. Ashley the pinku-ness of all pinkus
3. Jill the innocent princess that everyone loves
4. WK the lucky dude that get the innocent princess
5. Sam the baby-face assassin in our beloved game
6. Bryan the ever funny looking dude that is well respected, no less easy to manipulate
7. Ingrid the girl that really makes me smile and have a deep-laugh inside my heart
8. Yvonne, for constantly listening to my craps!

It gives me a moment to ponder what this quotes really mean:

“The best things in life aren't things” – Art Buchwald
“A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world” - Leo Buscaglia
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind” – Dr Suess

did badly on midterm

2007-09-12T14:23:00.000+08:00

yeah, sucks. now i need to score 50 out of 100, which in a way give myself shit. it reminds me of my Business Law final. busi law need 28/70 to pass while forex dont have any requirement. however, my Law is doomed to fail since i got only 12 marks out of 70 for assignment, and therefore i need to get at least 38/70 to secure a pass. my tutor even call me to be prepare to retake Law, saying it seriously will take a miricle for me to pass it.

i ended up getting a near credit. nothing is impossible indeed, but i just dont want to imagine and rethink back how i study for law last year. i believe kenny understand how i feel. we all breakdown in finals, and the week before it is pure hell.

well, now. i got a feeling im revisiting the same nightmare, again.

the nightmare's begin, now.

when shit happens, truth reveals

2007-09-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

quote from cousin A: "my hand tremble just now when i recieved the news [my accident] just now from Aunt"

when shit happens in your life, don't take it too seriously and personally. look around, and i will see that who cares for me, and who aren't.

those that care, you know who you are, thanks. my life coulndt be better without you all, although you might be annoying and frustrating sometimes. but hey! you appear at the most unexpected time, for me.

when i feel that im alone, im not. never will. even the most "insignificant" in others eye is a gem for me.

thank you, again.

以父之名 - 周杰伦

2007-09-11T16:20:00.000+08:00

微凉的晨露沾湿黑礼服石板路有雾父在低诉
无奈的觉悟只能更残酷一切都为了通往圣堂的路
吹不散的雾隐没了意图谁轻柔踱步停住
还来不及哭穿过的子弹就带走温度

我们每个人都有罪犯著不同的罪
我能决定谁对谁又该要沈睡
争论不能解决在永无止境的夜
关掉你的嘴唯一的恩惠
挡在前面的人都有罪后悔也无路可退
以父之名判决那感觉没有适合字汇
就像边笑边掉泪凝视著完全的黑
阻挡悲剧蔓延的悲剧会让我沈醉

低头亲吻我的左手换取被宽恕的承诺
老旧管风琴在角落一直一直一直伴奏
黑色帘幕被风吹动阳光无言的穿透
洒向那群被我驯服后的兽
沈默的喊叫沈默的喊叫孤单开始发酵
不停对著我嘲笑回忆逐渐延烧
曾经纯真的画面残忍的温柔出现脆弱时间到我们一起来祷告?

仁慈的父我已坠入看不见罪的国度请原谅我的自负
没人能说没人可说好难承受荣耀的背后刻著一道孤独

闭上双眼我又看见当年那梦的画面天空是蒙蒙的雾
父亲牵著我的双手轻轻走过清晨那安安静静的石板路

仁慈的父我已坠入看不见罪的国度
请原谅我我的自负刻著一道孤独

那斑驳的家徽我擦拭了一夜孤独的光辉我才懂的感觉
烛光不不停的摇晃猫头鹰在窗棂上对著远方眺望
通向大厅的长廊一样说不出的沧桑
没有喧嚣只有宁静围绕我慢慢睡著天刚刚破晓

right? wrong? left? up?

2007-09-11T12:15:00.000+08:00

whats right? whats wrong?

there's no right answer. when your car spin out of control, you've got only 1/10 second to decide what are you going to do next. for me, my next thought is to spin my entire sterring, to the...

right. suicidal? agreed.

its alright. all of them say. i got McD and a cup of warm milo. i guess its alright. i lost my thoughts for one second, and my brain stop function for few seconds. minutes later, i found out that i almost:

1. killed myself
2. killed a pakcik driving a kancil
3. killed both of us together.

everything is settled and on the way back, the tire is still rub and scratch by the entire bumper. for once, you wonder, are you able to go back, safely?

yes? no?

right? left?

up? down?

nothing is right.

nothing is wrong.

it is the millisecond you take making that 1 decisive choice that count.

be smart, next time.

Pinku Desu!!! =^o^= *jumps around and spreads rainbow sprinkles onto the morbid domain of ian's blog* Dame dame!!! ianchan must be happy today!!! coz its pinku day!!! see! we all semangat pinku with our hello-kitty support colour shirts! yatta!!! Nyan nyan! sou desune... kyowa atashitachi wa choooooo kawaii!!! Kawaii hawaii... kyaha! minna daisuki dayo!!! meccha meccha suki! So ian, we should be happy together in a land where bunnies and cotton candy are in their abundance! fuufuufuu...

and you know... since its such a wonderful day for us the celebrate the joys of life, i shall make it even more kawaii!!! i made kawaii avatars! kyaha! yesh yesh yesh!!!! for this pinku day, we must have the lovable pinku spirit... we should actually join hands sinng and go hug some trees! XD lets put flowers in our hair *makes sure its not poison ivy* if not right, we itchy itchy scratchy everywhere... dun want that to happen hor? yeahlor, if not, it will get in our way of spreading peace to the world!

peace out with pinku power! Yay!!!

p/s. my appology to: kuku, ku zhang, dad, mom, ah ma and pak cik for all the trouble. to hell, federal highway!!!!!!!

As we go on

2007-09-10T00:50:00.001+08:00

We'll remember, all the time we *wait a minute... wrong song? nono wait, correct*

check this chat out.

Leeeeeeliaaaan's gobbledygook says:
hmmm k

Leeeeeeliaaaan's gobbledygook says:
maybe will be in same hall on the 12th

Ian Valentine's mumbo jumbo says:
hope so

Ian Valentine's mumbo jumbo says:
my last time seeing u

Ian Valentine's mumbo jumbo says:
:'(

Leeeeeeliaaaan's gobbledygook says:
haiyooo.. dun say that.. now technology very good. can see thru webcam .. haha

Ian Valentine's mumbo jumbo says:
still

Leeeeeeliaaaan's gobbledygook says:
if u reli stay near wl .. then next time i go see wl then i can come see u too marrr

Ian Valentine's mumbo jumbo says:
:D

Ian Valentine's mumbo jumbo says:
never thought of that

Leeeeeeliaaaan's gobbledygook says:
:)

Sigh, I appreciate my friends alot, and they have no idea how much they mean to me in my certain point of life... high school, prefect board, CF, college, Uni, AC, church, clubs, cyber, football pitch, mamak, shopping, driving, drifting...

all of them, they play a very big part, at least in my brain and my dream. whenever I have a lucid dream, all of them appears and I, since Im lucidity, will for once make everyone perfect and only by then i found out the potential of friendships among each and everyone of them...

but dream is always dream, in real life, although they say its cruel, i still hope that there's lucid reality. lilian, for one, given me this hope. hope leads to power. i believe through this hope and power, she will one day either be in a lucid dream, or lucid reality in my life, after graduation.

this is the thing of knowing the meaning of life: people come, people go. in the meantime, only a few of them stays in your heart. only few of them leave footprints inside your life. sometimes, it is sad to know that you didn't leave any footprint in theirs. that's why recently i am a little disappointed with some old friends, knowing that they finally move on with life and have new mates. worse, they abandon us for their newly found love.

all this, and i can only sing:

"as our life change, come whatever, we will still be, friends forever..."

Exam Timetable Sem 2

2007-09-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

ECW2721
PAPER 1
25/10/2007
01:30 PM

02:00 hours

TR FIN & FOR EXCH

MGW2430
PAPER 1
02/11/2007
08:30 AM

03:00 hours

HRM

MGW3681
PAPER1
05/11/2007
01:30 PM

02:00 hours

INT MGT

ECW3291
PAPER 1
12/11/2007
01:30 PM

02:00 hours

MULTINAT TR & INVEST

untitled

2007-09-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

choose that title because it gives me freedom to write whatever i want. lets see... reflecting...

"STEF! 好久不见!"
"weiling, we going to makan with stef"
"erhu class soon"
"hungry lar.."
"when am i going to start assignment?"
"talking to myself (seldom)"
"music"
"seeing friends everyday"
"alone at room everynight"
"jac, where u? i arrived d"
"brain: pinku is happy although sometimes she's not. but im not, cause im vince"
"bryan: hehehehe"
"siang, mamak"
"brader! how lar.. yx is there and i dono wat to say (xuan if you are reading this, tell me)"
"sms: how are your day, xuan"
"omg... another jam..."
"phone ring: jac called"
"1 sms from 璇"
"leeeeliaaan is online (finally)"

basically that is my daily routine, which i really looking forward to seriously! thanks everyone listed up there, and random events that add spice, for brightening up my day with usual routine but different topic everyday!!

"

Meet you at the tree

2007-09-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

This may sounds like a weird joke, but yeah! i did say that to jill and bryan just now! lol... the story went like this.

my friends and I went over to her area for Shakey (omg!! its been awhile...) for lunch after class. The trouble is that me and jac doesnt know the way there! jill leads us there all the way. after a nice lunch, trouble araise again. my brain: " which way back?!" and instant reply :"either be adventures or ask for help".

jill's reply: "i escort you to the tree there, and you turn left and go back yeah!".

My brain: "tree... tree... tree... OMG im busy driving and which tree they are talking about lar!"

but thats about it. they went off after escorting us to the "tree" which in the end i still dont know where is it though.

tomorrow, we will be having another meal together, this time dim sum at their area, again. when bryan asked me where to meet tomorrow, my only reply: "meet you at the tree".

=P thats about it. i find it weird and my sister stared at me after i said that. she ask me: "you talking to monkey or are you the monkey?"

hehe... i guess its both!

dim sum, here we come!!

2007-09-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

Lord, i dedicate alot of songs for many friends, but i never dedicate once for You. This is for You, and for all earthlinks here X)

what has changed?

2007-09-06T21:24:00.000+08:00

"Lord there is nothing like You... never ceased to worship You... Shout to the Lord..."
"nothing compares to the promise i have in You..."

frankly, recently i kind of miss the time back. although, now when i look back i can only see negative stuffs, but hey, i found out, there are precious golden moments too...

what has changed inside me?

1. I used to be a frequent churchgoer... but no more..
2. I used to serve faithfully at MIF and CF... but no more..
3. I used to that wacky guy I love to hate... but no more..
4. I used to be that guy who are detested by many, love by few... but no more..
5. I used to be that guy younger sisters turn to for help and guidance... but no more..
6. ....
z. I used to be that guy that stay back, close to You, and talk to You... but.. now I only call upon You during my epilepsy attack..

all this while, Lord, You showers me with abundance of hope and peace. friends, Lord. they are my precious gifts from You.

all this, Lord. help me save it in my memories, and remember to give thanks to You for all... because, they are all Your gifts Lord. You can choose to take back anytime You want, which is why i must cherish it Lord..

X)

Nothing of importance happen lately

2007-09-01T08:48:00.000+08:00

life just seems to cool down for awhile.. everything is functioning as it should be. nothing is screwed, nothing seems to go wrong. be on guard, something might just pop up.

was having a walk this morning bout 6am. brought back loads of memories, including 2004's 7-11 lepak at 3am, 2005's main-road-phone with wl, 2006's deep thought next to Esso...

nowadays i am damn addicted to http://www.wikihow.com/ , it is my new favourite website now. i really appreciate every authors taking their time out and share their feelings to the world about certain stuffs, ranging from "how to set up your ipod" to "how to act like vincent valentine".

currently researching: "how to impress a girl" and "how to impress a girl's parents" and things in that category. heh.. future gf here i come! X)

yamcha with KC yday night, seems that we disagree quite alot of things. our communication is becoming more intense and directionless. maybe this is me, recently. KC is not the only victim of my recent "conversation breakdown" syndrome. i know quite some people get real pissed off already. eg.

"ian are we buying XXX's birthday gift together?"
"issit?"
"oi bloody hell! u tell me that you are last month!"
"..."
"SO ARE WE BUYING NOT?"
"i dono"
"..."
"okok we buy we buy. what are we buying?"
"FOR GOD'S SAKE! I TOLD YOU WE ARE BUYING FLUSH TOY!!"
"issit?"
"...."
"okok... flush toy, where?"
"IANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
"...."

so yeah, basically that's about it. i believe some of you guys here know bout that eh? my bad, people. i admit. my bad.

anyway, nothing really serious happen lately. waiting for jac to write about ash's bday then i see how to write about it! XD

good morning,
world.

-ian-

what is your problem!

2007-08-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

what is wrong with people like these that can only see people's negativity and never ever once see good in us. you have to focus all your hatred on me, channel it this way by seeing only the negative side of me but never even give a considerate thought about my other part, i have to admit, sir/mdm, i am not fucking mr perfect.

im sick of being the fella you wanted me to be.

let me guess

"who the fuck call you to act? be your fucking self lar!"

if the above assumption is correct

then to you know that you are a super hypocrite by pin pointing out all my negativity?

u reminds me of my ex.

i know

it is human instinct to critize people and self praise yourself. heck. everyone wanted to reach christhood and none of us wanted to be satan right.

and everyone LOVES to think that they are the holiest of holy and every1 else is evil except them.

who would want to admit their faults nowadays? even churchgoers... hopeless.

so stop fucking giving negative comments to anyone around you, and please, for once, think that every1 is as good as you, and as evil as you.

admit it, bastards/bitches

you are evil too.

"For all have sinned and fall short the glory of God"

hate me.

it will never affect me.

you know why?

you will soon find out

the more you hate people

the more likely you will be hated

"treat others the way you wanted to be treated"

hate me.

i wont mind.

today

i learnt.

no1 can be trusted.

not a single soul.

i give people my trust

i persuaded people to trust me

now

the only thing i can be is

heartless emotionless me.

happy now? no more negative critisim? cannot shoot me down anymore? fail to find fault in me anymore?

buzz off.

im not interested in you, either.

this post is dedicated for all
Hypocrites, betrayers and god-hater.

no1

2007-08-30T00:17:00.000+08:00

snap back to reality. if you dislike me, throw me a comment and say you dislike me. i heard enough of the same criticism and yes, thank you for it.

but do you know that there is a time lag there? do u think that im god, saying "May it be so" and puff, it will be so instantly?

for your information:

i value your support as much as your love and as much as your criticism.

everything comes side by side.

so if you can only contribute the talking part

i will contribute mine too:

Fuck off.

2007-08-25T00:44:00.000+08:00

dedicated to everyone who has the issue of hatred

It's kind of sick,

'cause I've written poems like a kid.

I've got nothing else to say,

it makes me feel so gay.

I make myself to hate some one,

but I think these hatreds inside are gone.

I try to think about more pain,

sorry I ain't got no brain.

Trying to find more rhymes,

just wasted more times.

I don't know where to start,

'cause I've been annonyed by dog barks.

I don't know... I don't know...

Arrrrrrrrr!!!

Let's declare some more hatred war!

Nothing's wrong with me...

nothing's wrong with me,

just that I'm sick of these.

-Anonymous

(Source: http://poets.unknowncommunity.com/db/poems/21587?pl=user )

whats up for... brunch-ner??

2007-08-22T00:52:00.000+08:00

just found out that today, i had nothing decent for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!!

the reaons for skipping breakfast:
1. was so awake since 530am.. city tour with bunch of kids till bout 7. bring them back, then i go again!
2. reach uni, didnt finish preparation for presentation yet, so sat down in lab 7 till lunch time. thanks: ash, jac, jane and andrew for being there in the lab. can have a breather compared to the morning atmosphere..

reasons for skipping lunch:
1. class starts at 1pm, and im still nto ready at 1240pm!!
2. class ends at 2pm, straight away ciao to lecture till 4pm!
3. 4pm. finally a decent thing to eat for the day! guess what is it?

New York Chicken large, 1901

Well not like it is very good or nice but the hot dog brings back memories of the last semester in monash old campus, and man, i AM freaking hungry!!!

Reasons for skipping dinner:

1. Knowing that Mr. I-am-cooler-than-you-in-the-eye-of-your-cousins is coming down from penang and stay in klang for awhile. and since the fella is working, ehem. FREE DINNER!! hehehe.. nothing la.. just :

usual suspect 1: Maggi Goreng double packet (+ mata kerbau)

usual suspect 2: Roti Planta (+ kari ayam)

usual suspect 3: Teh tarik * sugar * milk * 2 cups

Usual suspect 4: Uncle Muthi (not to be confused with Monash's lecture, Dr Muthi) look alike!

yam cha

2007-08-22T00:39:00.000+08:00

i am so freaking glad that i finally got the chance to yam cha with you, albeit the timing is not very good. it is a very very big surprise to all of us seeing you there, just now. although we are not close, but somehow, your appearance made us feel honored; and we take comfort to know that the society still cares.

and anyway, that is the first roti planta you eat in klang eh! hehehehe any differences? chill dude, Restoran TEA is my favourite hang out place with my relatives and friends. mr siva and uncle muthi knows us very well... the roti planta is super "gao gao" 1 and of course, the teh ice u drink consist of extra stuffs too! hehehehe... brother, dont be surprised key... X)

its hillarious seeing how the fck you cut your idiotic roti planta, like trying to kill it or giving it an operation or something. dude, if only i brought a digi cam along with me eh!! sigh... lost the chance to show it to the world dey!

my cousins actually missed you! it seems that your popularity among them has overtaken mine, which is so unfair! you just pop up like once in a blue moon, yet they still treated u as if you are someone they know for 100 years or someone sent from heaven above! ewww.. you are so NOT ok!! X)

next time, we should hang out even more often. heard that you will be staying in klang for awhile.. maybe i can introduce you to some friends of mine here, and maybe i'll show you to my kl friends? hehehe... dont be shy...

btw, prescott hotel is cheap and the service is good. but beware, apparently the hotel is dirty and i heard prostitutes lingers around the area.. hehehehehe... dont pray pray ah!!

nice to meet u again, dude. although u are so not the coolest among us all!!! it IS me!! no denying!

time management

2007-08-21T00:27:00.000+08:00

i should stop it! it is killing me!!! i should really start to be more self-disipline and dont do it anymore! please, i need the strengh to be more self-disipline. omg...

this is some sorta disorder every uni students will feel whenever assignments, reports, lab experiment, surveys, interviews, blablabla, blablabla, and the list goes on. whoa.. wonder how the hell can we all survived man... think of the good ol high school days... i really honestly telling you, i dont remember when is the last time i hand in my maths work. is it during 1B time, or the time Cik Lim forced me to hand up during form 2, or maybe the time i was called to pejabat to finish up my work at form 3.

as you can see, everyone in high school is mourning about how monotomous their life is. cant bring hp lar, cant have bgf lar, cant drive lar, have to wear stupid looking uniforms lar, teachers treat them like kids lar, prefects all stuck up lar (wtf? betraying myself and my board?), list goes on again...

oh life in high school... when is the last time i go speeding with ah kooi + gang at federal, where ttt almost kill everyone in the car and jie wei is racing with puan pavani (eh nonono cik! she always scold us bout it)...

the last time we chirstian union buddies hang out after friday activity at school doing nothing ...

the last time i getta hang out with my "family" in high school, visiting jaya jusco, stay at school for no reasons again, starring at girls...

omfg... the only few survivors are like KC, xuan and you, bear.

where is all the memories dey.

-----

eh out of topic d!!! this post is bout time management. shit. speaking of which i havent start preparing anything for tomorrow presentation, which will start bout 13 horus later... argh! well apparently jill is going to crap and yvonne is kindda sick bout her examples.

i got everything with me now, why not start it?

why?

lets do it!

aja aja fighting!!

btw, time management =
1. Stop napping
2. Stop Diablo II-ing

dad

2007-08-20T01:24:00.000+08:00

dad asked me: "hey arent you bored sitting down at home almost everyday?"
me: "what to do..."
dad: "....."
me: "got car also useless la..."
dad: "why"?
me: "no where to go."
dad: "....."
me: "and"
dad: "and?"
me: "no money."
dad: "hahahahaha"
me: "......"

sigh.. true true. no money, owe jill, kitty kat and ash money. wahlao eh... mana pergi duit saya??

For those who are still madly in love with their ex-es

2007-08-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

WARNING: EMO LYRICS AND POST.

Dedicated for all who still loves their ex deeply. This song is for you.

It is called BK Love by McSniper. BK was still so madly in love with the girl, he cant stand it and as a very close friend, McSniper decided to write and sing a song on behalf of BK. It is in Korean and "Windstruck" used it on the exploding part perfectly.

MTV "BK Love"

Explosion Scene "WindStruck"
-Detective Kim is still thinking of Myeong-Woo when she is on duty. because he is dead.

this is the english translation by an ametuar.

BK Love - MC Sniper

Do you know how I feel?
Those days when I really thought about you
But as my feelings for you grew
Things only got harder for me
I could only shake in the fire
Now, I'm tired and I don't have the confidence to see you
I show my back to you, like a coward
I hate the fact that I want to run away
But I found out too late
When I found out I liked you
Everything changed miserable me
I lost the strength and confidence to talk to you
But I just thought it would good
I was so stupid
I didn't know it would be this hard
I found out too late

All this probably seems like an explanation to you
But my love is only you
I just wish you would know this
There is no person that can love you as much as I do

There's no more pain for me who's watching you leave
I can't let go of the love that's ended I can't cry in sadness baby please

My friend's wet, tired voice is in my mind
The love story that ended in an unexpected way
My friend's hurt and sadness I can't understand
I'm singing for it's too hard to soothe him
For the girl that was like a petal and that you truly loved
The love that you prepared alone for so long
The tears you shed to make that one flower blossom
Couldn't face the light and became a handful of sand released
Spending so many days and nights with a sigh
The hard decision made at the last minute
The hard decision made for her and you Your love's final end
Someday, the unachieved love between you two
Will meet as two lights in the sky
That draw lines in the sky as shooting stars
In the next life, I wish for your love to be achieved

My friend still loves her
But my friend is leaving for that girl
I can't breathe when I think of this as love
Maybe that's why my friend is still crying (BK!)

There's no more pain for me who's watching you leave
I can't let go of the love that's ended I can't cry in sadness baby please

the brighter part of the story

2007-08-16T23:57:00.001+08:00

instead of having McD with my happening gangs, we ended up having sushi!!! dont ask me why is it but yeah i guess i tested something new. i love sushi. i love ramen n bento-s. i am madly in love with green teas. although jie wei works in genki n jun how works in sushi king, n both genki n king is just around my area, but the last time i rber seeing them n eating sushi is like years ago.

the sushi advent. this time, in a new place (for me), called Sakae Sushi. will post more about it when my buddy, the best blogger in msia, post bout it. will use the copy and paste system, no need to reference or cite or give credit. simple as that!

jac, correct?

[breaking news]

jacjac ™ says:
:'(
jacjac ™ says:
lazy bugger..
jacjac ™ says:
LOL
jacjac ™ says:
better cite that u take from me
jacjac ™ says:
my hard work of laoding pics ,k! [ian: what is laoding anyway? some cina orang?]
jacjac ™ says:
(Jacyln, 2007)

its raining

2007-08-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

Aerith's limit 4: Great Gospel.

12am, and it rains. the classic. brings back all the memories i had since im small. with ex-es, ex-friends, ex this ex that...

today have been a disastrous day. shit happens since morning all the way till night. i think it is raining season again. it rains when i wanted to drive u yesterday, and it rains again tonight. u must have been very tired of your work. sleep tight.

as for me, im still in deep shock of whatever happened today. first, the Smart Tag incident, second, the 8 miss calls incidents, after that the unser-go-wrong-way-outside-carrefour incident, after that chen wa's incident, concludes with the fatal sms i sent. went out yam cha and almost soaked under rain. have some quiet thinking today as my ever supportive friends stood by me and shoot me down with reality again. i like it.

this rain.

this memories. what is this.

the coolness of the night.

the memories.

let me sleep.

tomorrow will be a new day, right?

but, there will not be a day as eventful as today for this month. not anymore.

oh god.

EMO! XP i dono can consider this as emo not! hehehehe but it is just what im thinking now lar. nothing personal! X)

hanging out....

2007-08-15T22:30:00.001+08:00

I finally gotta hang out with someone. i finally got to let go of the past and really stand up for the future. although the time is short, but significant, and i cherish it.

my utmost congrats for both l-l and r-y, you girls did it, before i can. but anyway, today might enter into history as 1 of the most significant day of 2007. may it be so.

and, lets pray, there's is a second time.

its over!!

2007-08-13T19:59:00.000+08:00

that's it. im done with my stupid IM assignment! although i know i dont put in too much effort like most of my IM mates, yet i feel that i learn alot in my assignments + i still get to socialize and have a life ok! i miss hanging out at mamak on friday nights and pooling on asia club, but im all tied down by this assignment. and yes, now that this is over, i shall feel more relax and stop rejecting invitation already!

i still remember how tension i am when jill came at 10am telling me she is handing up hers soon and jac handed up both hers and ing's assignments. jane pressured me again by saying, "wah u not bad ah.. still tis part only. i finis liao. damn happy" and give me this X) look. heh, i feel like wacking u k! :@

lab 6's printer rosak, printing out lines of smiley face and jac says that aliens are communicating with us. the 3 girls is chatting behind while im punishing my sins for delaying my assignment by ignoring everything they say and keep copy-paste everything from journals! jac even try to "irritate" me by showing all her nice photos and telling me to read her blog as there is new updates finally. (i havent read it till now).

xuan keeps me entertained by her college jokes but still i can only reply her with few words. she seems pissed, and till now still refuses to pick up my phone. XP cham-ness..

another sms came in telling me to go Asia Club instantly, bout 3pm (1 hour before due time). apparently someone is holding a farewell party there by playing pool and most of them are there, of course except me. i asked for a delay, which they flatly rejected and screwed me again for not going.

while im still rushing to do my bloody referencing (trust me it is a crazy job), ingrid called and ask me why am i still not down there yet. i thought, "hey whats the rush? your staying rite", but i was wrong, dead wrong. the clock shows 3:30pm and i am still there correcting my referencing. goddamn! why am i using so many journals in the first place! *geram*

but still, i finally made it at about 3:40, with another invitation sms received. i have to rush to library to print out my work, as i say printer in lab 6 is invaded by aliens signal. due to panic-ness, i give myself a tour of monash unvisited area, Block 5. while, technically i was really right outside the library door on the 3rd floor, guess what? they lock it. cool. hp clock shows 3:42. while rushing, i bang into a lecturer whom used to dislike me last year, and yeah. apology is hard to be accepted right? so spent another 2 minutes there.

library, 3:49. finally i started to print my assignment out. guess what? printer 3 cacat-ed. every1 lining up to see their cacat-ed works. rush back, print on printer 1, and it works out well. jason was scorning me from behind as i really look kindda pathetic. clock says it is 3:53 when i finished printed out everything. To the business school.

3:56. "where the fc is tee's assignment box?? ah! found it.. wait a minute, why is flier doing inside the "assignment box??".. wait a minute, this is the lecturers post box (or call it whatever you want)!!!

3:58. Rush up to the second floor of the school of business. found assignment box. ready to submit when i saw bunch of people surrounding the assignment box. bunch of pathetic fools, arent we.

3:59. submitted. the end of Assignment 1.

4:03. saw andrew and hong and join them for "fun and laughter" to keep me sane after all the crazy things that happen...

6:00. home sweet home..

-----------------------------------
ian would like to give thanks to the following for their total love and support of Assignment 1.

Dad, Mom, sis, Jac, Jill, Jane, Ashley, Lilian, Ingrid, cousin A, cousin B, Andrew, Aaron, and Karen. Not to forget our evergreen tutor, Miss Lee.

ian would like to say sorry to the following people for ignoring them during my assignment period.

DM, Kee Cheong, Xuan, Bear, Imran.

ian would like to say really sorry for the following:

1. Kee Cheong (invited me to AC for 4 times already, yet..)
2. Bear (you havent even come to my house yet)
3. DM (i dont meant to ignore you and him, but yeah)
4. God (sigh...)
5. Myself (you deserve some rest now)

Thats it for assignment 1. Squall, Quistis, Irvine, Zell, Rinoa and others are waiting for me outside Galbadia... cya, reality.

i found someone

2007-08-12T00:14:00.000+08:00

i found someone that i finally can say things out from my brain without really polish it. the friend of mine is like the gem of gems in my social circle. the fact that we are not in the same world, and not interested to step into any relationship world, says it all. all my friends are nice and good people, but sometimes you feel pressure and hard because you have to filter whatever you have to say before you really say it out.

so, questions:

how will you feel, when you can freely saying anything to the friend, knowing that the friend actually listen to you, every single detail?

how about, you love to listen to the friend too?

you feel for the friend, you feel that the friend needs you, and you feel important at least for once.

i dont know how long we can chat like this, but i really sincerely thank you.

*name of the mysterious friend is intended to keep as secret*

Diet report

2007-08-08T18:52:00.000+08:00

Diet report:

Sample: Ian Valentine
DOB: 87
Weight: Undisclosed
Success rate: 0%
target weight drop: 10-20kg
reasons:
1. Too fat
2. Too fat, got belly
3. Looks ugly with belly
Methods on dieting:
1. Don't ask for any allowance
2. Monash's RM1 nasi lemak
3. No more Friday mamak
4. Convience myself that Ah Ma's cooking is way better than McD
5. Have Gardenia everyday.
Advantages of dieting:
1. More money to spend on other stuffs (thinking of Digi Cam, iPod FM transmitter, new Jeans)
2. Increase Bank Account's figure
3. Charity.
4. Health reason
Disadvantages of dieting: Undisclosed

-Report End-

From this moment

2007-08-07T23:04:00.000+08:00

From this moment, I believe that I must move on with life. I don't need no substitutes in my life again. I have recently found out that I owe alot of debts to all my friends - as in real friends - all these while. They stand by me during my 3 years of failed and fruitless relationship, they talked to me, and they wanted to meet up with me; they shown great concern to me... how badly I repay them. Trust me, you got no idea.

And after 3 years time, here they are, supporting me n my blog. I never know that I actually receive friends' love so much (*100) more than from her. My best memory goes to the night, and morning of 31/12/2006 and 1/1/2007. No wonder they say that friends is the gift from God only second to parents.

I do not understand how some people I know actually led astrayed by their friends, betrayed, misused, or even lead them to a road that they can never turn back. I really don't understand how you can still continue living your life with them with "Great Expectations" and actually entrust your future onto people like them.

No offense to any people out there that fits the bill, but I'd mixed with these people in my life at high school before. I just don't get it. They really don't have good friends? Not holy friends, but at least someone that is trustable?? I pity them. But that's how life goes. You are your best teacher. The only one that can really teach yourself is you. God bless you, peeps. X)

Oh my god. Lord, what have i done to deserve friends like them? Both the evil and the angelic. God, if that is the way you want to teach me bout life, I praise you. Yes Lord. These good friends are all gifts from you. Pray that i'll cherish them, 1 by 1.

Well. Let's see. What else can I crap today? hmmmmm....

Yeah, i hope i can get a digi cam as a birthday present, so that this page will not be as empty already! X) yippee!! my own digi cam!

10 reasons why I'm happy being single.

2007-08-06T17:25:00.000+08:00

10. No longer need to talk on telephone for 100 hours a month.

9. No longer need to report whereabouts, and the WWWH in details again.

8. No need to crack, bang, scream or suft net just to find the best birthday gift anymore.

7. No longer need to suffer anymore unreasonable craps.

6. No need to argue anymore. Hallelujah.

5. No more pressure, can concentrate on studies, friends and family.

4. No need to drive around town just to find a suitable place to eat.

3. No need to pay for fancy foods anymore.

2. Feel relax, can flirt around with more people.

1. BANK ACCOUNT CAN FINALLY INCREASE!!!!!!

internati...... zzzzz

2007-08-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

Currently (repeatingly) listening to: Those who Fight (FF7), Composer: Nubuo Eumatsu
Mood: Feel like fighting off all the assignment and go K!

Starring blindly at the IM text book... I love the photoes of Taj Mahal in Agra, the euro sign, the Big Ben of London, the Sydney Opera House in Sydney, Chinatown (entahlah. any Chinatown in the world EXCEPT Petaling Street), and the famed Disneyland-looked cathedral St. Basil's Cathedral in Moscow... man I wish I can visit all these places once in my life. The only place mentioned above that I actually visited is the sydney harbor, when I'm 12. Even by then, I wasted the golden opportunity of having a glance of the Opera House. Instead, Jarred and his brother tempted us to have a game of, all of things, chua dai D. wtf.

others, sigh. at least ah wan represented us when he visits the big ben during his study in london.

But what piss me off is the few bold words written in the middle of it, check it out:

even blogger wanted to censor the line. Magnifiy by 100X, and you will see this line:

International Management

Managing Across Borders and Cultures

Fitfh Edition

Helen Deresky

SIEN AR!!!! x(

cost cutting

2007-08-05T11:57:00.000+08:00

My family is a happy family :) , or so I thought :(. Lately I really forgot when I last saw any1 of them actually smile and crack trademarked Lee family style witty jokes and humor. Even the clown seems to frown (fingers pointing at Ah Wan).

Being a Monashian is indeed something to be proud of, if you ignore how the Uni and the envioronment burns your wallet. Petrol and highway tolls, yeah although it is not completely paid by me, but imagine my parents burning money for me so that I can step into Monash safely, have lunch safely, hangout with friend happily and go home safely. Crazy.

Well, as a "good" son, the only thing I can help now, other then giving helping hand in their work during holiday, is to help them cut cost.

X) Having budget deficit ma...

So, let’s see how to save cost...

1. Stop McD. Diet, healthy and a superb cost cutting method. Imagine, RM13.75 everyday.

2. Monash's RM1 nasi lemak isn’t that bad, and since every weekday morning my friends Jac or Ash will be there starring at me eating, so yeah, it taste better.

3. Use federal highway. Be smart. Don't be a retard.

4. Hangout with Wei Ling and get super budget. Who else can get 2 pair of guy's shoe for RM49? I'll be willing to drive you for a day.

5. Ask Ah Ma for money to have my hair cut.

6. My trademark. Ask for RM10, spend RM1, and the rest of the money shall be in my disposal. How else can I have enough cash to even go bowling or karaoke, left alone Asia Club (Imran, that is why I always can't go there with you), Dragon-i (jac, jill, ash, i still miss that place, and also Eric. sigh), Mufi (wanted to buy something there for xuan for like the past 1 year already), Uncle Seng, Auntie Kwan (which I promised some of you for years!), gym (sigh!!), and others ???

7. Stop buying ramly burgers or maggi goreng or teh ice. Refer to no.1.

8. Drink Xut Cha in University rather than chocalate Coke.

9. Stop buying Uni's RM1.80 soya bean. No joke, RM1.80.

10. Be sure I follow all the rules stated above.

There. My first crusade war against $!! To war!!

Materialism. That is the price to pay. KeeCheong and my ex shoot me down by asking me, "isn't that the way you wanted to live your life?" Xuan said: "simple is beauty". Sigh...

second advent!!

2007-08-05T01:37:00.000+08:00

wuhooooo.... I’m back I’m back!!! The one with many names and many previous blogs! lol... bloggy give one the impression of a trendy thing now.. Hard to update but it is just very tempting to create your own website, isn’t it?

JIA YOU!!

Have to semangat update it!! And have to get more comments from my beloved readers!

Alright, let’s go straight to the point. Gloria privatus literally means "deprived of my glory". It is taken from the medieval poetry Carl Orff based his Carmina Burana on the song "FORTUNAE PLANGO VULNERA". Viva la LATIN! X) (Don’t feel like going too much in detail. lackluster stuffs)

I felt that my glory deprived since long time ago. My high school's glory has been literally torn down and I’m a perfect symbol of a fallen angel, in the eye of my juniors. The most talkative senior, and the most "lanci" 1, sacked for mysterious reasons. XP but then again, I didn’t regretted at all!!

So it begins. Firsthand, real story, by the author himself. My real story. Stay tune. Over and out!

In Fortunae solio sederam elatus, prosperitatis vario flore coronatus;
quicquid enim florui felix et beatus nunc a summo corrui gloria privatus.

(On the throne of Fortune I had sat elated, crowned with the gay
flower of prosperity; however much I flourished, happy and blessed, now I have
fallen from the pinnacle, deprived of my glory. )